kylemeadors.com

My sister has commented that these picture above are two of her favorite recent photos of Ava. They are actually from February, before Ava turned one. That was when we let her try Hostess chocolate chip muffins, and she immediately loved them.

Today, Shannon got some cereal in a bowl for Ava and put it down on our ottoman for her to eat. Instead, she walked into the kitchen and pointed up to the counter where these muffins where at and just stood there with her arm raised up, pointing to her favorite breakfast food. She kept it raised that way until we gave it to her. No crying or throwing a fit. Just a dignified hunger strike. I will say her favorite meal is peas and carrots so she is not all enriched flower and sugar, but she loves those muffins. They use to be one of my favorite snacks until I got older and saw my appetite turn away from sweets like those. Still, I admit to being a little proud of her love of those little nuggets of chocolaty goodness.

Did that headline get your attention? As a stay-at-home worker, I am pretty safe from any viral global pandemics. But I know a guy who has been affected by the swine flu. He is a colleague on a project with me. He is from New Zealand and was flying back from Los Angeles last week.  On that same flight were some New Zealand high schoolers who had come to Mexico for a school outing. 2 of them caught swine flu. Colin, my friend, did not, but he has been quaranteed to his house by the government for the last 5 days. Is that strange?

That is how this stuff spreads. It is such a big world that seemingly random situations, like a high school group from New Zealand taking a trip to Mexico the week this virus breaks out, do occur because there are just so many people out there and our global travel systems allows people to be easily connected. An odd story but something I thought worth sharing.

Two years ago, I decided to put up a birdhouse behind the house. I was so excited. I was so excited and talked about it so much that for Christmas that year, Shannon gave me a blue fitch Christmas ornament. She thought it symbolized my year. Looking back, I am not sure exactly why I was so excited. I think I must have thought birds were going to flock to me like Mary Poppins.

Through all of 2007, the birdhouse stayed empty. But I was not discouraged. I thought I might have gotten it up too late in the Spring for nesting birds. But then 2008 came and went without any feathery friends taking residence in my free home.

Then two weeks ago I look outside and saw something flying from the birdhouse. Could it be? Yes! A couple of blue fitches, just like my ornament, had made a home in the house. I presume they now have a nest with some eggs because one of them, the daddy I presume, is the only one I now see. He occasionally flys up to the birdhouse with some food but otherwise stays in the area keeping watch. In one of the pictures below you can see the dutiful husband with an insect in his beak. With my task complete, I feel I can now leave this home in peace.

In what may or may not be a beneficial decision to myself, my friends and family, my career and my sanity, I have joined Twitter. My Twitter homepage is here or you can tweet me at @kylemeadors. If you have no idea what Twitter is, then it is probably for the best.

I recently realized my website hosting service, Bluehost.com, offers a TON of disk space with my package. Also, it allows you to install an open source photo album software, Zenphoto. I have installed it and set up a part of the site for our photos. So far, I just have the upload pictures from Ava’s birth on,  1687 images in all. I plan on storing all the photos from Jacob’s birth on as well, but I have not gotten to those yet.

Link is below. I will eventually put a link to it from this site, but for now you can just go there through another browser tab. It currently looks pretty plain and I need to do some editing to rotate so photos, but they are up there to view.

http://www.kylemeadors.com/photos

I again coaching Jacob’s YMCA Under 5 soccer team this Spring. In terms of on-field ability, this year’s team is even worse than last year’s. I am grateful we don’t have a scoreboard to display to all our futility in scoring, both in making goals (or lack thereof) and preventing goals (or lack thereof).

But as my wife reminded me, you don’t score success in U5 soccer by goals or wins-losses. You measure it with how you treat the crying children, which we do have, and how you encourage those who are not playing well, which is all the rest and how much fun they all have, which they do have fun. The girls give me hugs and bring my pictures they have made for me. The boys roll around on the ground but do listen to me (mostly). I know Jacob’s favorite part of soccer is playing on the big dirt pile by the field after the game or practice is over. Still, I am glad to coach my little Bluejays team.

Before you have your first child, everyone talks to you about not getting sleep during the early newborn months. I mean, everyone. The first thing they say after congratulations is something about the lack of sleep coming your way. Usually smiling when they say it. Like a freshman hazing or something.

And yes, it is true your sleep is greatly interrupted those first few months. But it was not communicated to us that this lack of sleep can persistent until they are nearly 5. Jacob still does not sleep well. He struggles to go to sleep, and he easily wakes up during the night. It seems every night this week has resulted in an interrupted night of sleep for us or we have gotten to bed late partially due to Jacob’s unwillingness to go down quietly.

Part of the challenge now is that he is at the in-between stage of definitely needing a mid-day nap and giving it up all together. Another part is we have allowed a bad habit to develop of laying down with him to help him go to bed. It was not a problem when he was falling to sleep in 5 or 10 minutes. When it takes an hour, well, that is is a problem. But another part is that Jacob does not sleep well. And, we know several other parents with preschoolers who deal with the same sleep struggles.

I know it will pass, but this stage can’t end soon enough. We try to appreciate all aspects of child rearing, even the difficult parts which can be though of sweetly in years to come. However, I can not see this being something I would ever fondly look back on at my son’s childhood. Who gets nostalgic over baggy eyes and sleep deprivation?

Many of the To-Do list of moving items are getting checked off. We have completed our home inspection and agreed with the buyers the repair list. Not finished fixing all of them, but none are major. Do need to get some spraying done in our crawl space and termite inspection but we several contractors to choose from on that.

I have reserved a Uhaul moving truck. Also arranged to get Shannon’s small grand piano moved from my parents’ home, who have been keeping it there since her parent’s death, to our home in Orange Beach. Found a very reputable company (they only move pianos and organs) to do it for just over $1000. Not big on paying a $1000 for anything, but given that a Uhaul rental for that distance costs nearly $500, it is actually a good price. No matter. We are excited to have a piano in the home now.

The appraiser came by today to get the home information and do his work to show the mortgage lender the home is properly valued. No problem there; just a formality.

After we finish the remaining repair items…we pack. The part I least look forward to. I did get boxes today. We have a month until we move (head out on May 20th) so we have plenty of time, but I can it slip by if not careful.

Much still to do, but so much has been done. I am still a little shocked at the speed of the whole process, but obviously very, very excited.

Today, we closed out an IRA account we had inherited from Shannon’s dad. As I looked online at the account and saw its new balance as $0.00, it brought a sadness upon me. It was a very tangible example of his and Mom Varden’s passing. It is not the same as a family heirloom, but this account was something they have left behind and now its is gone.

What surprised me was the feeling of grief and sadness from what I consider an unexpected source. I don’t feel “sad” as I type this post, but when I switch tabs in my browser and look at the account, the sadness begins to knot up inside me again. Here I am, almost three years removed from their death and something like a closed IRA account brings me grief. And my momentary bouts with sadness pale next to the quantity and quality of such moments my wife goes through.

Since their death, I have been surprised by sadness and grief. How they come upon you in totally unforeseen times. As you think about, it really is not that surprising. I mean, whoever expects to be sad in the first place, but it is telling that for most us, certainly Shannon and I, our lives have been fairly happy and we are unacquainted with sorrows. When something sorrowful happens, we are thrown for a loop. Still, it points to the difficulty with grief. As much as you would like to get it over with at one time, it tends to come to you in spurts with no guarantee of its end date.

I was down in Miami last week for a conference. At the hotel, the bedside table contained both the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I have never looked at the book of Mormon so I opened it up and read some of it out of curiosity. There were some verses which were familiar and borrowed heavily from Bible passages (chalk up plagiarism as another problem with Mormonism).

However, I also experience a deep sense of confusion and frustration. True, I did open and read at the middle rather than starting at the beginning. But even if I did the same to a John Grisham book or a college textbook, I bet I would still have a sense of the general tone, direction and content of the book. But with the book of Mormon, I was generally perplexed.

I thought that is how many, many people must feel who pick up the Bible and attempt to read it. I am so steeped in Christianity and church life that I forget how others who are outside the faith and only peering in must feel.

It is a great reminder that we have to build relationships with people outside our faith. We need to be giving them contacts to help explain the Scripture. Like the Ethiopian official in the Book of Acts who needed the apostle Philip to guide him, people need help understanding the Scriptures. Otherwise, they may do to the Bible what I did with the book of Mormon; try it for about 5 minutes and then toss it aside and order Chinese food.